“One decision, one single moment, can have such a detrimental impact on so many people, living and dead, born and yet to be conceived.”
God placed those words on my heart nearly ten years ago now, as I rocked our then-newborn Olivia, in the deep dark of night.
I knew in the depths of my soul that the abortion attempt meant to end my life had changed the lives of my biological parents, but what I was only beginning to understand back then was how abortion affects so many more lives. Whether it’s recognized or not, it leaves no one untouched. God gave me those words to prepare me for what I would discover in my life and the lives of others, and allow me to share this perspective with the world.
Of course, I now recognize that abortion doesn’t just end a life, it impacts the lives of women and men, grandparents and aunts and uncles, siblings and extended family members. It impacts the lives of the abortionists, nurses, and clinic workers. It prevents the lives of future generations from coming to existence. It impacts relationships for generations, unless there is healing that occurs.
Years ago, one of the hardest parts of sharing my story publicly was walking through the pain of abortion with women who desperately held into hope that I might be their child, because that would thereby mean their child had lived. I am grateful for the strength and knowledge that I have to support these women, to remind them that they are loved and forgiven, and assist them in finding the healing supports they need.
As more of our survivor stories have been shared over the years, and videos like those from the Center for Medical Progress have indicated that there are abortionists would kill children who survive, more and more women have been reaching out with a new haunting question—not, “could you be my daughter,” but “could you help me find out if my baby is alive today?”
Many of these women share traumatic details of their abortion that indeed give good reason to question of their child initially survived like me—hearing their baby cry, hearing the nurses scream. Added to these women are also an increasing number of siblings who are searching for a sibling they know was aborted, but they are now looking for, also with solid information that would indicate an initial survival was possible.
As a survivor who was kept a secret from my birth mother for decades, I grieve alongside all of those hurt by abortion, and I will continue to do everything I can to not only raise awareness of this wide swath of devastation and the opportunity for healing for each of us affected, but I will also do everything that I can to assist the birth families and survivors searching for one another, to, indeed,do so.
If you are a survivor who was placed for adoption and are searching for your birth family, please be in contact, and we would more than happy to walk alongside you through this process, and offer any help we can with matching you up with birth families who contact us.
Birthfamilies, if you would like us to save the information you have about the survivor that you are searching for, so that we could potentially help match you in your search if that same survivor contacts us, please send us that information in a message.
Although there are many more of us as survivors than most people recognize, (maybe hundreds, thousands, or ten thousands, we just don’t know for certain), knowing that we’ve lost 60 million lives in our country alone reflects that surviving is, indeed, a rarity,when we compare the sheer number of lives lost to the number who survive.
I wish that I could tell every woman out there searching for the baby she aborted and who is holding onto the hope that her child is, indeed, alive, but we know that’s sadly not the case.
One decision, one single moment, can indeed have a detrimental impact on so many people’s lives. If we can be of help to you in your process of searching or healing, please be in touch.
I would encourage anyone in need of abortion healing to read Surrendering the Secret or Her Choice to Heal, visit the Rachel’s Vineyard and Project Rachel’s website, or check with their loca pregnancy center for post-abortion services and support.