I finally had the opportunity Friday night to view Citizens for a Pro-Life Society’s Requiem for the Disappeared. I must admit that I was even more moved and impressed by the video than I had thought that I would be. I had first listened to Dr. Monica Migliorino Miller on Teresa Tomeo’s Catholic Connection earlier that day, and was overcome with emotions as they discussed the video, the discardment of the aborted babies outside the Hodari clinic, the need for these children to be acknowledged for who they are, who they could have become, their need to be seen and heard. Just as I had been so moved during the commentary on the radio show that morning, so, too, was I moved while watching the video on You Tube later that evening.
In the 15 plus years that I have known about the abortion attempt meant to take my life, I have worked very hard to heal from the pain of the abortion attempt, of the disregard for my life, the impact that my biological mother’s decision has had on my life and all of those connected to me. Yet every so often, something brings me to my knees, something touches me deep within my soul and reminds me of the scars that remain. Watching Requiem for the Disappeared stirred up thoughts and feelings that I had not experienced for a long time.
As horrific as the finding of the aborted children’s bodies outside the Hodari clinic is, I found Citizens for a Pro-Life Society’s coverage of this discovery and the subsequent funeral rights provided to these babies to be very tastefully and lovingly done. As a fellow survivor of an abortion attempt, I felt a strong connection to these babies who were left discarded as trash. That was meant to be my fate (at least in the abortionist and my mother’s plans) that summer day in 1977. However, unlike these children, I was blessed with God’s salvation and the loving care of hospital staff who provided me with the medical care that I needed to live.
I, myself, visit a local Tomb of the Unborn Child often, many times taking Olivia with me, and I am understandably moved to tears and conflicting emotions of gratitude yet unsufferable pain each and every time I visit. I would liken my experience visiting the Unborn Child’s Tomb to any other suvivor of a tragic event visiting the site of it. There is something very surreal about viewing the tomb, knowing that that could have been you, should have been you, just like visiting the site of a tragedy that you were blessed to escape . Of course, the difference between my experience and that of a survivor of any other tragic event is that such other survivors are viewed very differently in our society. They are given a voice, their grief and sorrows are acknowledged and supported. In stark contract, as the survivor of an abortion attempt, I have been silenced for many years by society’s prevailing views on abortion, by others perceptions of me and the millions of other children whose lives have been ended by abortion. In my experience, it is far too easy for many in the world to dismiss children such as myself and those discovered outside of the Hodari clinic. More often than not, we are seen as unwanted and without a voice, without a name, we are silenced and easily disappear from public view.
Like the beautiful music that Requiem for the Disappeared so eloquently echoes, I, too, spent many years of my life questioning whether anyone heard me, whether anyone truly sees me for who I am, whether anyone at the time of the abortion attempt really knew who I was and who I would aspire to be. I spent many years of my
life searching for someone to tell me who I was, to tell me that they recognized me. Although I have been blessed to meet some members of my biological family in recent years, those very people who could help explain to me who I was and where I came from, I learned through my search and reunion with them that I am who I am regardless of my relation to them. Through my search, I was reminded of something that I had known all along, that God always knew me, and I will always know who I am in relation to Him. God will always recognize me and he has helped me to discover who I am.
I am so very grateful to be alive, to be able to lend a voice to the millions of children’s lives who have been ended by abortion. To the aborted children found outside of the Hodari clinic, I commit myself to continuing to lend a voice to you, just as Citizens for a Pro-Life Society did in Requiem for the Disappeared. I will continue to acknowledge you for who you are, who you could have become, and challenge the public to acknowledge all of us, survivors of abortion and lives lost to abortion. I will not simply disappear like the abortionist and my biological mother intended for me to. I will continue to survive and thrive.Requiem for the Disappeared on YouTube