It certainly comes as no surprise and it is definitely not new news that the abortion industry and the media and individuals who support it try and deny the truth about abortion and the reality of abortion survivors, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how this denial of our lives and abortion’s often devastating effects doesn’t just affect us, but affects our families, truly, it affects all families, who have been touched by abortion.
About this time last year, I wrote a post in reference to the Washington Post’s attempt in 2012 to discredit my life and life story in their support of President Obama, (http://www.melissaohden.com/?p=1315), and in it, I started to process out some of my thoughts about how responses like this by those that are pro-abortion not only affect me, but affect my family, who have been forever changed by the abortion that was meant to end my life. In the course of the last year, though, I’ve been thinking about how not only such responses deny the reality of my family members, including my birthmother, who was forced to have the abortion and was greatly pained by this for decades, but denies the realities of tens of millions of families who have been forever changed by abortion. And I’ll be honest. It saddens and frustrates me that we live in a world that wants to deny the truth about abortion so badly that it will not only turn a blind eye to its’ everyday injustice against children, but then further denies the ramifications of this injustice on the children’s families.
Abortion affects everyone, and I hear from and meet grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles, mothers and fathers who have experienced abortion and its’ long-lasting effects, day in and day out. They have a story. One that they don’t often share because of their own guilt, shame, grief, or fear about how others will respond in a culture that has embraced abortion as a way of life (or lack thereof). Yet, no matter the feelings welled up inside these family members, what I have discovered is that when they finally hear from someone else that they, too, have experienced that pain, that they, too, understand what they’ve gone through, the floodgates open, and those feelings, those words that have remained locked up within them come pouring out.
We may not be able to change the response that the abortion industry and its’ supporters, including the media, have in regards to abortion, abortion survivors, and the truth about how abortion affects all of us, but we can do something. We can be courageous enough to share our experiences with others, whether it is face to face, or something we share anonymously on the Internet.
We can educate others about the impact that abortion has across generations, not only on children and women, but on men, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, and ultimately outside of the microcosm of family to our communities and nation. We can share our stories and encourage others to find hope and healing in the midst of what they have experienced. If we’ve lost 57 million children to abortion in the last 41 ½ years in the U.S. alone, we should recognize that we are not alone in our experience, and use our grief to bring about a difference, not only in our lives, but the lives of others.
I know that it’s not easy to talk about, and it’s hard to know where to start, but I would like to just encourage you, the reader, if you’ve been affected by abortion in your family, to take the first step and simply acknowledge this to yourself. The next steps of sharing it will come in their due time.
I would like to leave you with the story of a friend of mine, who is a grandparent who has experienced the loss of her grandchild. May her boldness (and the courage of other family members who share likewise on the site you will see listed below) in sharing her story enable you to someday find your own voice:
“On 4th April, 2014, the life of my 4th grandchild, my son’s first child was ended in an abortion clinic. This child’s parents had dated for 2 years, become engaged, bought baby clothes and furniture, and named their child, Cole James for a boy, Lyra Grace for a girl.
Nothing we did to reassure this young mother of our support, even after she and my son had planned for their baby and were excitedly welcoming him or her, could overcome the fears and insecurities that others close to her magnify in her mind… She wouldn’t be able to manage a baby and complete her education… She would lose her entire youth… She would never be supported in the way we had promised… all lies.
She was cut off from those most trying to help her, by those who did not want to support her in her decision to have her baby, but instead were determined to ensure she rode the conveyor belt of doubt and fear all the way to abortion.
My son learned of the circumstances of his child’s death 2 days later when he woke to find the mother crying on his doorstep about the terrible mistake she had made.
He was broken.
We all are.
Abortion does not just hurt women and their children. It hurts the fathers of the children. It leaves a gap in a family where a child should be, a child who was wanted, and already loved. It is a pathway of destruction that no woman deserves”– http://iregretmyabortion.org.au/debbie-loss-of-a-grandchild/
To access a large collection of resources and support after abortion, please visit: http://www.priestsforlife.org/afterabortion/