Honestly, I have a million other things that I should be working on right now, including the script for the documentary that is going to be produced about my survival and life, and the manuscript of my book, Ablaze, that needs to be to the editor again very soon, but I just can’t get this story out of my head.  If you haven’t seen this yet, here’s the story as reported by Steven Ertelt from LifeNews.com:

A Minneapolis, Minnesota couple is making waves across the Internet with a web site they created allowing the public to vote on whether or not they should give birth or have an abortion.

Pete and Alisha Arnold are both 30 and they are 17 weeks pregnant with a perfectly healthy baby nicknamed “Wiggles.” The unborn baby is just weeks away from viability and past the point at which most women have had an abortion.

However, the Arnolds have set up a website, http://www.birthornot.com because they aren’t sure whether they want to become parents — despite the fact that that journey has already started for them.

To “make a difference in the real world,” the couple has set up a poll on their website to allow the public to make the final decision for them.

They write: “The whole point here is to let people have a real way to voice your opinion on the topic of abortion and have it actually make a difference in the real world.  By voting on whether to continue or abort an actual pregnancy, you are doing so much more then simply telling an elected representative your feelings.  You are actually changing something in the real world.”

“We would like to keep you informed on our pregnancy as if it was your own; posting our thoughts and feelings as we struggle to make this decision.  We would like you to see what we see and feel what we feel.  We invite you take this journey with us as we contemplate our own options and encourage you to utilize this site to vote and voice your opinion in a way that will have a real consequence… in a way that truly matters.  Here, your vote will not go unheard,” they continue.

“For the first time in history, your vote on the topic of abortion will not go unheard.  We meant that,” they said.

Currently, more than 5,500 people have voted in the poll — with 62.47 percent urging the couple to give birth to their baby and 37.53 telling them to destroy the child’s life in an abortion.

That’s a departure from the earlier vote which tilted towards the abortion before the story moved through pro-life circles on the Internet overnight.

“December 9th is the last day we could legally get an abortion in our state. This vote will remain open until two days prior to allow for the procedure if decided,” the couple say.

The potential reason for the abortion centers on Alisha’s confessed feeling’s of selfishness.

“I’m not convinced that I want to change the status quo. I feel that as I age I’ve actually gotten more selfish and set in my ways,” she writes. “I’m afraid that I will eventually regret starting a family and “settling down”, as they say.”

The Arnolds have had two recent pregnancies end in miscarriage, and an unplanned pregnancy ended when Alisha was 20 and using the birth control pill.

The couple’s first planned pregnancy ended in miscarriage in January at 16 weeks and the second planned pregnancy ended in miscarriage in April at five weeks.

Ironically, while most couple celebrate the expectation of a new baby by posting ultrasound pictures on their web site, the Arnolds have posted theirs but apparently have been unaffected by the visual proof of the life of their child.

The baby is developing nicely and, should the couple forgo the abortion, would be born on April 28.

‘At Alisha’s 15 week ultrasound appointment she was told that the baby’s development was right on target for her due date,” the couple write. “She’s still on modified bedrest and working from home until she reaches the viability point in her pregnancy; around 19 or 20 weeks.”

Have you had time to digest all of that, yet? I’ve read and re-read this article ten times in the last couple of hours today, and each time I read it, I feel a different emotion, and I perceive the intent of this couple in a slightly different way.  The first time that I read it, I was angry, feeling like this was some sort of terrible ploy for media attention and probably money to support their soon to be delivered child.  Yuck.  Is this world that we live in so fame-obsessed that a couple would actually pull such a move that would cause such pain and embarrassment to this child later on to find out they did such a thing? And for Alisha to admit that she’s very selfish and is unsure of being a mother? I understand the unassuredness…all of us as new parents have been there.  But to be so selfish as to think that you could now end your child’s life because you’re just not sure you’re ready to parent or ready for your life to change?!

The second time that I read the article, however, I no longer felt anger towards Pete and Alisha for this very strange situation that they’ve created, but intense sorrow for them.  To read about the miscarriages that they experienced in their “planned” pregnancies, my heart just goes out to them.  And whether they are conscious of it or not, I truly believe that experiencing those miscarriages has impacted their ability to truly embrace this pregnancy and their beautiful unborn child.  How afraid they must be of bonding with their child, only to lose one yet again.

My heart and my head as the jury is still out on this one.  Obviously, I want these two parents to choose life for their child, and in my heart, I believe that’s what they’re going to do.  I’m still not sure about what exactly Pete and Alisha’s motive is for creating this website, or how they truly feel about their pregnancy, but what I do know is this:  the more situations like this come to light in this world, the more people talk openly and honestly about abortion and how it ends the lives of children like me and devastates the lives of people like my own biological parents, the more progress there is being made in protecting and respecting lives like mine…..no matter how questionable or weird the circumstances are (just don’t ask me to read a book or watch a reality tv show that comes out as a result of it).